23. CAKES AND ALE
Quality control was vital. The only way to control the energy output of the device was to control the input variables. Otherwise, over-expression of energy would result in an explosion and blow the top off – as was the experience at Jebel Barkal. And they must have come very close to it in the Great Pyramid judging from the expansion of the chamber. They raised the roof beams.
So the lords developed a formal progressive checklist procedure. At every stage the ‘body’ could not go forward until it was precisely checked-off against the list. Thoth, the ‘god’ of wisdom, along with Isis, mistress of the temple, together were in charge of measuring, counting and weighing. Isis kept tally on an abacus – later mistakenly called a ‘sistrum’ as if it were a musical instrument. The ‘body’ was weighed in the balance until it was not found wanting. ‘Nothing was disordered in it’.
It is a measure of the enormous depth of misunderstanding that this simple mechanical checklist procedure was later represented in the Book of the Dead as a quasi-religious ‘Negative Confession’, or ‘Declaration of Innocence’ – where the ‘body’ was a person who had to be examined for moral rectitude by 21 pairs of judges in the Hall of Justice. And that was even more compounded by later European scholars who added their Christianised language. So, in the religious accounts, when the ‘body’ was challenged it responded with pious protests … ‘I am pure, pure, pure … his heart is true, he has not sinned … no sin has been found in him [it] … all wrong is washed away’. Along with another more vernacular response … ‘I will not eat faeces’.
The body of the device was progressively tested until it could be declared … I have completed [assembly of] the sacred eye … I know the ‘Lord of the Wind’ … let him be given the offerings … let him be given bread and beer (elsewhere cakes and ale).
Other sources identified the divine food as ‘tchefau’, which was cautiously translated as ‘light food of the shining ones’, or ‘food which gives power’. European scholars were apparently baffled by the literal translation of ‘light food’ and just ignored it as enigmatic religious language. But it was more than that. On the one hand it appeared to be just bread or cakes …may there be given unto me loaves of bread … propitiatory offerings and cakes given to the gods. But on the other hand it was clearly not normal bread, rather … the bread which does not grow mouldy … the bread of eternity …which provided ‘power’ to the sun gods to … live and have power through bread.
It was not ordinary bread or cake. Elsewhere the non-moulding, unleavened bread of eternity was detailed as ‘saffron cakes’ …Osiris is he [to] whom have been given cakes of saffron … saffron cakes have been brought unto him … the cakes of saffron are the eye of Horus. 
In plain language, the divine bread was saffron cake. Saffron is a yellow vegetable dye – therefore ‘saffron cake’ is what we now know as ‘yellowcake’, the crude ore of uranium oxide. The basic building block of a nuclear device. Not only was the ‘light food’ named as yellowcake but in a section of the Coffin Texts dealing specifically with ‘food offerings’ it was even further defined as uranium-235:
Lord the great illuminator who came forth from the heat … the movement of the sunshine has been given to me. I am the owner of five portions, three portions in the sky, two portions on earth.
… O you who are in charge of food … may you give to [the king] five loaves in the temple, three loaves in the sky, and two loaves on earth
Allowing for inversion of the word order in English translations (from earlier German), over and over again the spells prescribed recipes of ‘good food’ composed of units of 2-3-5 …in what could only be an unmistakable code for yellowcake uranium-235. In curiously colloquial language the spells repeated the mantra that the gods ‘will not eat faeces’, they will only achieve the [nuclear] ‘movement of the sun’ from good food in portions of 2-3-5. So the royal chefs prepared a divine meal of 2 cakes, 3 loaves and 5 fishes which, by the magic of alchemy, they transformed into a cloud of cosmic energy. It was an early example of true transubstantiation.
It’s not an issue of doubt, or mistake, or misinterpretation. The European language translations of early Egyptian texts were made at a time in the late 1800s when there was no knowledge of nuclear technology, and revised later by linguistic academics who still had no appreciation of nuclear physics. Despite – or because of – their nuclear naivety the philologists did not even recognise the significance of what they were translating. They made no comment on it. They just translated innocently that in order to accomplish its journey of transmogrification from mortal substance to sanctified solar energy, the ‘dead body’ was provided with ‘light food’ of ‘yellowcake’ and only in the ‘good portion’ of 2-3-5.
Provision of crude yellowcake uranium was all very well – but not good enough.
In today’s technology we know that crude yellowcake contains only a trace level of U-235 which is too low to generate a nuclear chain reaction. To be useful it needs to be purified or ‘enriched’. Crude yellowcake contains only a low level of the ‘smaller’ active U-235 isotope and a high concentration of the ‘bigger’ but inert U-238. The usual enrichment process, known only since the 1940s, depends on converting crude yellowcake into a milky liquid derivative (which must be kept cooled) – then separation of the isotopes by serial diffusion (osmosis) through a membrane, and/or by using a centrifuge. It’s a tedious serial process requiring a massive building with a structure of repetitive cellular rooms.
Amazingly the texts record that the ancient Egyptian lords did things exactly the same way. Perhaps not so amazing considering that the same laws of physics apply and there are only so many ways to do things. But what is amazing is how clearly and innocently the texts spell out the process steps. And again there is no question of mistake or misinterpretation or bias – the translators did not even contemplate the idea of technology, let alone nuclear technology. They just translated literally and unwittingly.
The ancient authors used vernacular imagery to portray the osmotic diffusion membrane as a ‘fishing net’, a ‘winepress’ or ‘purification tent’; and the centrifuge as a ‘whirlwind’. We know the authors intended a fishing net because they accompanied the text of the Book of the Dead with vignettes of a fisherman with his net – fishing in the deep waters of his misunderstanding. That was in texts written – or copied – perhaps a thousand years after the real events. A measure again of the enormous chasm between the real technologies of the monogene lords versus the bizarre religion of the later descendants.
The purification process was carried out under Kings whose names meant ‘The Two Powers are Pacified’ (or separated), by an overseer called ‘Lord of the food offerings’. The procedure was carried out on a ‘milky liquid’ in the … town of the Milk Goddess … you shall give me a jug of milk … you are pure by means of the milk of Apis … to make the efflux mighty [stronger] … by … restoring the milk to its proper level.
Operators called ‘you who separate’ and the ‘magician who controls offerings for the blessed ones’ produced an offering called ‘son of the milk goddess’ meaning they separated the components to obtain the smaller U-235 ‘son’. Amongst separation equipment translators struggled with ‘winepress’ (there were no vineyards or grapes), and ‘purification tent’- which derived from references to a membrane or fabric in a chamber for purifying. Separation by ‘whirlwind’ (centrifuge) was also puzzling but the modern translator (Faulkner in 1960s) specifically noted that the ‘god’ definitely whirled (rotated) … …I have entered a dust-devil … I have emerged pure.
Finally, the imagery of a fishing net was unequivocally illustrated and accompanied by comprehensive explanations …in this fish trap in which you trap the dead [inert U-238] …you shall not trap me because I am the small one [U-235] …I know the name of the weights … I know the measure of the mouth of the opening in it [the net] …I will be the one who flies from it as a small lad … I have escaped by flying … I restore the milk to its proper level.
The outcome was pure ‘enriched’ milk. The operators ‘made the magic hale, restored the milk to its proper level’. The ‘milk’ became royal ambrosia, the sacred nectar of the gods and the life-giving essence of the ‘sons’ of the sun god. It became the sacred soma on which Horus suckled at the breast of goddess Isis or at the teat of the great cow Hathor; and elsewhere the seminal phallic fluid of the sun god.
More prosaically, the now enriched and chilled white liquid was transported to the pyramids where it was cool-stored in the lower chambers of the ‘portal temple’ – still known by their Arabic name of serdap, meaning cellar or cool-room. The milk was stored on ice in … the house of coolness … cooled by … polar waters … a tablet [of] crystal … creating a pool of water [an ice block]. Oddly, modern translators made no comment on the obvious but incongruous reference to the ancient use of ice- blocks. But in 2010 English author-scientist Robert Temple checked the lower ‘magazine’ rooms of Khafre’s portal temple at Giza with a Geiger counter and found ‘intense radioactivity’ – exactly where the magic efflux of Osiris, enriched U-235, had been stored.
In later popular mythology the sacred beverage was characterised as breast milk of the ‘mother’ goddess (Isis or Hathor); or, in more tortured imagery, as the seminal fluid of Osiris himself. He was the … ‘King who copulates with [his own] semen’ …I am a soul who eats his own navel string, who lives on the friends of his foreskin and who eats his companions …I am this soul of Osiris whom the gods commanded to copulate with him … go forth and copulate with your soul.
That rather strained and impolite metaphor allows a new interpretation of the classic Egyptian myth of Isis and Osiris.  Plutarch’s version recounts how Set (also Seth or Typhon), the bad son, attempted to kill Osiris, the good son. At first he constructed a particular chest (coffer) into which only Osiris would fit exactly – whereupon he nailed it shut, encased it in lead and cast it into the sea. Thereby confirming that only Osiris, son of the sun, had the exact measurements of the coffer; and that ‘dead Osiris’ (nuclear waste) was encased in lead and buried at sea. Isis rescued the body (now called Horus) but Set again discovered it and cut it into 14 pieces and scattered them. Isis searched and eventually recovered all the parts but ‘the body’ would not come to life until she found the phallus. Which is to say that the body of the sun god was composed of a matrix of 2 x 7 components in a coffer of exact measurements, and it only came to life when injected [with milky semen] by a royal phallus.
It’s an irony that so many believed the mythology for so long but now we have difficulty admitting the reality.